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We all have an imaginary definition of a great family. We imagine what it would be like to belong to such a family. No fights over the holidays. No getting on one another’s nerves. Respect for individual identity. Mutual support, without being intrusive. So many people believe they are disqualified from having a better family experience, primarily because they compare their own family with the mythic ideal, and their reality falls short. Is that a fair standard to… More >>

“Why Do I Love These People?”: Understanding, Surviving, and Creating Your Own Family

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The Ennegram is a remarkable personality typing system that defines nine types of people and how they relate. It also explains why we behave in the way we do by uncovering our unconscious motivations and deeply rooted influences. With vivid examples and insightful description, Palmer introduces the nine types — Perfectionist, Giver, Performer, Romantic, Observer, Trooper, Epicure, Boss, and Mediator — and illuminates each one’s strengths, weakness, and potenials. … More >>

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Yes, humans and canines are different species, but current research provides fascinating, irrefutable evidence that what we share with our dogs is greater than how we vary. As behaviorist and zoologist Dr. Patricia McConnell tells us in this remarkable new book about emotions in dogs and in people, more and more scientists accept the premise that dogs have rich emotional lives, exhibiting a wide range of feelings including fear, anger, surprise, sadness, and love.More >>

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There are so many couples of today that are happily married and some that are on the verge of separation and divorce. Couples have tried to cope with different problems arising in their married life yet are unable to resolve those problems that have caused many marriages to fail. Being married is not entirely all wonderful and exciting but it is a relationship that both partners must work hard on to make it a wonderful marriage. In fact, marriage needs both efforts by partners to maintain a proper understanding of how their marriage should be.

Renata Nyleve who is editor of the “Good Marriage Secrets” website — http://www.GoodMarriageSecrets.com — pointed out;

What are the reasons for marriage failures?

“… First and foremost, a couple should understand the reasons for their marriage failures and relentlessly, try to save their marriage. There are several reasons that can cause marriages to fail often leading to separations and divorce. Reasons behind a marriage failure are likely having a misunderstanding where lack of communication from couples are experienced, arguments due to money matters, infidelity and reasons whether the marriage at the beginning was a failure…”

In order to save a marriage, the couples must be willing to undergo some changes in the way their marriage is viewed. Effort, patience, and understanding are necessary to make a marriage work. The following factors can help marriage failures save marriage by adding efforts by renewing the relationship between both partners.

Mutual interests are important for married couples where couples need to have intimate moments together to share and learn about mutual interests of their partners, where differences can arise that through understanding can ensure respect and a stronger relationship for marriage couples.

Unpredictable schedules can also cause marriage failures, whereas both partners lack time for one another. Togetherness, after marriage, is very important most especially in time spent together, where passion and intimacy is practiced. But without the proper time given to their partners, they tend to loss interest and begin to disregard one another.

Communication is a very important matter in a marriage. Lack of communications means also lack of understanding, whereas couples tend to quarrel without considering any feelings for their partners, therefore, a continuance of their misunderstandings are left unresolved.

Criticism in a gentle-like manner is likely to save a marriage. Couples often make gestures offensively without their knowing, resulting for the partner to make criticisms that can lead to arguing. As much as possible, offensive criticism should be avoided in marriages, whereas gentle criticism can make the relationship in a marriage stronger.

Another factor is children, and having children in a marriage relationship are wonderful yet it can also cause marriage failure. Because as children, they tend to give problems that can arise in differences with the couples due to possible different disciplining tactics for their children.

Gifts are beautiful ways to give to a spouse as a sign of their love and with gift-giving, a spouse can woo their partner and even warm the heart of the spouse helpful to saving a marriage.

Saving a marriage is very typical for those couples that still have love in their hearts. As said, romance should always be alive in a marital relationship because if there is love, marriage becomes stronger and longer for the couples. With just a little effort from both partners can liven up the relationship in the marriage and make marriage worthwhile for couples on the verge of a break up.

Most partners have disputes about sex and money, but having terms of endearment allows both partners to remember the main reasons why they got married. As such, renewal of vows is also advisable for saving a marriage because vows tend to challenge couples to reach their goals in having a perfect marriage.

Marriage can be perfect especially for couples in love but having a perfect marriage needs effort from both partners. Marital problems can result in divorce and separation, however, with the right tips for saving marriage, couples will be able to cope and solve their marital problems.

Marriage counseling gives people a chance to work out issues with their partners whether it be their boyfriend or girlfriend or their spouse. This process is also referred to as couples counseling. Marriage counseling gives couples the tools to improve their relationship and to learn how to better relate to one another. 

Marriage counseling should be done by a licensed counselor who has a certification in marriage and family counseling. These counselors do pretty much the same as any other counselor but they focus on helping couples. 

In most cases, couples only need to meet with a marriage counselor a few times to work out their problems. Couples who are having more severe problems can attend marriage counseling for several months, though. Marriage counseling usually occurs on a weekly basis.

Marriage Counseling Can Help Everyone

All couples have issues that they need to work through. Each person has different beliefs, ambitions, values and wants different things from their lives and this can cause conflict. If you learn how to work together, though, there does not have to be conflict because of your differences. Couples can learn to appreciate their partner’s unique views and ways of looking at things and this can actually strengthen your relationship.

At times, though, the things that make you and your partner unique can cause problems. The habits and quirks that you found cute in the beginning of the relationship can start to drive you crazy. Relationships can start to suffer if there is a traumatic event such as one partner cheating on the other. The relationship may also suffer if the couple starts to drift apart and starts to fell like they aren’t connected anymore.

Regardless of what the reason for the problems in your marriage, it is very stressful and upsetting to be dealing with them every day. A lot of people ignore their problems and think they will just get better over time. The truth is the problems will probably get worse over time and cause more distress and even depression. The people around you can feel the tension when you are having marriage problems and you can even have trouble focusing at work because of the problems.

Marriage counseling can help couples overcome a variety of problems including the following:

A partner who has had an affair
Talk of divorce
Drug or alcohol abuse
Dealing with physical or mental illness
Gay and lesbian issues
Cultural differences
Money issues
Loss of a job
Step family issues
Trouble communicating
Issues with your sex life
Different opinions on raising children
Infertility issues
Anger management
Major life changes like retirement

Marriage Counseling and Domestic Violence

In some cases, marriage counseling can be helpful for couples dealing with domestic violence issues. If the violence has gotten to the point where you are afraid that you or your children will be seriously hurt you should seek help from the police or an organization dealing with domestic violence like a shelter. Marriage counseling by itself may not be enough to help in a relationship with domestic violence issues. 

Marriage Counseling to Avoid Problems

Not all couples who enter marriage counseling do so because they have issues that need to be dealt with. Sometimes marriage counseling is used to strengthen a relationship and help prevent issues from arising in the future. Marriage counseling can also help couples deal with issues before they even get married. Going to marriage counseling before getting married helps couples figure out how to work through the differences that are bound to arise in their marriage.

What Happens in Marriage Counseling?

Marriage counseling gets both people in a relationship in the same room to talk with the counselor. The counselor attempts to help the couple understand what is causing their problems and work on ways to better deal with the problems. Both the people in the relationship get to share their views of what is going on, both good and bad, in the relationship.

Through marriage counseling, couples will learn how to work together. The counselor will teach the couple communication skills and help them learn how to disagree in a healthy way. If there are serious issues causing the problems in the marriage like drug or alcohol abuse or mental illness than other specialists might be brought in to help resolve those issues. 

Talking about your problems and issues in marriage counseling is sometimes difficult. You and your partner may find yourselves sitting quietly and refusing to speak to each other because you are so angry. Or you may find yourselves having a huge argument right there in the counselor’s office. The marriage counselor is there to intervene and help you calmly discuss issues without implying that either of you are right or wrong.

Marriage counseling can make a difference in your marriage in a very short time. In some cases, though, marriage counseling may make you and your partner realize that you really do not belong together.

If your spouse or partner won’t consider going to marriage counseling you should think about going alone. Obviously, marriage counseling is more effective if both partners attend but if you go alone you can learn how you can make a difference in the marriage by changing some of your behaviors and thought patterns.

The decision to attend marriage counseling is not usually an easy one but it is well worth the effort. Marriage counseling is a much better way to deal with issues in your marriage than hoping they go away on their own.