What if I feel my 15 year old daughter is making a “dating” mistake?
Question by Monkey’s uncle: What if I feel my 15 year old daughter is making a “dating” mistake?
My daughter is 15 years old. She is a straight A student and never been kissed. She is very attractive, lots of friends, doesn’t even have to try that hard in school. She just started dating someone she knows from school. He is 16 and dropped out of high school. He is working two jobs and says he’ll get his GED. He has dated alot of girls prior to my daughter. He has liked her since they were as young as 10 years. He is very nice to her and polite enough to me. I feel like my daughter is making a mistake. I have let her see him (pretty much supervised). I was afraid if I told her she couldn’t see him, she might do it behind my back. Any advice?
Best answer:
Answer by durtyboyz2005
You cant protect her forever you have to let her go through life and learn from her own mistakes…..
What do you think? Answer below!
December 30th, 2011 at 7:11 pm
the last thing you wanna do is tell her she cant see him. trust me my mom made that mistake and i didnt care i just whent behind her back and did it, i suggest you tell her how you feel and let her know that she can date him but under supervised time…and dont let them have too much alone time.
December 30th, 2011 at 7:12 pm
Okay, im 14 and i like older guys. my boyfriend now is 19 and he is in the marines and he has his diploma. And yes more then likely if you dont let her see him she will find a way to get to him. I feel that he is not to old…no….he is not in school but at least he is not selling drugs. he’s working. and if hes workin two jobs and shes going to school they cant really see each other any ways. but enuff of the seeing each other. if you think that its a “mistake”…let her make it. WE AS YOUNG PPL LEARN FROM THEM. I KNOW!!! PUT IT IN GODS HAND!
December 30th, 2011 at 7:16 pm
The mistake is hers to make. It is part of life as young adults learn about relationships. Interference on your part would not only draw them closer and she may see him behind you back, but in this or future relationships she will cut you out of the lines of communication, you can not watch her 24/7 even less so as she gets older. Also do not prejudge her choice in a partner, she may see something in him you do not. There have been young adults who conceive a child to sort of cement the bond between them due to parents interference, think about it. If backed into a corner the Romeo & Juliet type of scenerio becomes very strong and anything is possible.
December 30th, 2011 at 8:02 pm
Keep letting her see this boy under your current conditions. Encourage him to return to school or obtain his GED, and tell him and your daughter that he needs to do one or the other if he wishes to ever go out on proper dates with your daughter. If he is as interested in your daughter as he says he is, he will get the job done. If he doesn’t, then make it clear to him and your daughter that you will need to ask him to leave. By your description of your daughter, she sounds like a priceless jewel … if this boy thinks the same way about your daughter, I don’t think he will fail to come through for himself, you, and your daughter.
December 30th, 2011 at 8:21 pm
he seems like a nice person. if he isn’t trying to act like a badass or something like that then i would let it run for a bit. i it takes a wrong turn though, like if her grades start going down, less social interaction, etc. then i would break it off.
December 30th, 2011 at 8:54 pm
I think your daughter had a good head on her shoulders, and has only you to thank for that! If you think she is a good judge of character, then maybe she knows what she is doing with this guy. Although he is a highschool dropout, maybe she could do some good for this kid and help him to see how school is important, and perhaps he should go back and finish, otherwise, if he really has no ambition in life, then you should talk to your daughter, as a friend not a mom, and simply tell her that he is a nice guy, but im afraid that hes going no were in life, and until he can prove otherwise, (maybe by going back to school) then perhaps its best that you should remain focused on your school and career ambitions rather than to see him
December 30th, 2011 at 9:36 pm
let your daughter know that you love her and that she is always welcome to discuss ANYTHING with you. ( don’t get angry when she brings things up even if you don’t approve of it or she will stop talking to you.) while you are having this open discussion tell her your concerns and why (don’t forget to add what you do like about him so she don’t think your downing him) for the most part if you don’t allow her to make some decisions on her own she will rebel against you , take it from someone who’s been there… you have to teach your children what you know and hope they make the right decision on their own lets face it we all have to make some mistakes before we learn, life is about trial and error.
December 30th, 2011 at 10:13 pm
Why is your 15 yr old daughter dating? 15 is too young. He is a loser, Ged’s don’t count and every knows this. Advise…
Just ask her not to see him and tell her why, don’t forbid her just state your reasons and see what happens. Just make sure you talk to her alot and keep the door open between you two….. If he is experienced….. so she will be, get her to the ob-gyn asap. good luck
December 30th, 2011 at 10:22 pm
Let her learn from her own mistakes. She’s a smart girl she’ll know whats good for her. If u tell her she cant see him she’ll probably do it behind your back and im sure u wouldnt want that because im afraid it’ll bring more problems. Teenagers unsupervised not a good thing. Just let her decide if he’s good enough of her.
December 30th, 2011 at 10:56 pm
Your daughter might be what he needs really. At her age i think they “dates” should be supervised anyway. Keep that up. Since she’s a great student, maybe she can talk him into getting his GED, she could even help him study. At 15 i doubt she’s thinking about marrying him or anything, a simple bf/gf relationship at 15 shouldn’t be too bad. If she starts wanting to lay out of school and her grades drop i would stop it now, but not just with him, any guy until they come backu p.
December 30th, 2011 at 11:09 pm
Take the boy aside some time, and smile, and say “You know, if I see you around here, I’ll break both your legs with an aluminum baseball bat, and leave you crying on the ground.”
And if you see him around again…
(I think daughters deserve a little extra protection in this word.)
December 30th, 2011 at 11:45 pm
As long as dating him doesn’t interfere with her school work and her relationship with her friends and family, I’d let it be. Making a big deal will only make him more appealing in her eyes. Let her learn about him on her own.
December 31st, 2011 at 12:26 am
Be understanding and straightforward when you talk to your daughter. You can lay down the facts as gentle as possible that the gentleman probably isn’t going to get very far in life(as others have said before me). The last thing you want to do is to make waves, crticize, threaten, cut off relationship, and make everyone angry and gain nothing. Ask her whether this type of person is the man she wants to spend her life with and have his children…
If she says yes without thinking hard, then there’s really nothing that can be done unless the senses come eventually. If there’s a danger or intuitive sense of danger, then you’re probably right to step in for the daughter’s safety.